From Byron Donalds to Casey Desantis, Floridas 2026 race for the governor for the bizarre

By Diane Roberts

The seated governor limp like a disabled water birds with a bad beer cat and inspires a high degree of malicious joy in Florida's legislation.

He is on the way to outdoors and everyone knows.

So-it-OBWORK The next election elections will not take place until November 2026-it is in the past to look into the future: Who will rule the citrus-grinded, armed, stormy sunshine state?

One of the leading candidates is Byron Donalds, a member of the congress from the southwest of Florida and an Epic Trump Rump-Kisser.

Donalds calls Trump “Daddy”.

Trump calls Donalds a “total winner” and says that he supports the submissive congress member for the governor.

Donald's understanding of America's past is bizarre. During an event of 2024 to drum the support of minorities for “Daddy”, he expressed nostalgia for the good old days of Jim Crow.

At that time he says: “The black family was together” and black people chose conservatively.

Of course, this is nonsense: Black did not vote at the time.

If you have exceeded the electoral tax and the “literacy tests” to register (and most not) and try to hand over a ballot, you could be lynics.

Rep. Donalds may want to familiarize himself with the Ocoee massacre.

In 1920, a farmer named Moses Norman tried to exercise and coordinate his rights as an American citizen. A white mob raged through the city and killed at least 50 people.

Instead of recognizing that the United States still have to struggle with racism and misogyny, Donalds pretends to spoil themselves with a fake story and the declining stereotype of the sexes and inform us: “Men were created by God to be conqueror to be hunters.

What does he talk about? Do you hunt after a good training? A good job? A rabbit?

paranoia

With Trump's advocacy, Donalds leads the Republican package of potential candidates for the governor, at least according to a recent survey that supported him with 31%, followed (by far) from the former Lt. Governor Jeannette Nuñez, AG Commissioner Wilton Simpson and the mayor of Ethics Chalenged by Miami.

Despite the statements that Trump has completed the race with Trump, there are other, um, interesting candidates who cannot be released so easily.

With the chaos president Musk, the nation may not unleash as powerful in a year – especially if he confuses her grandmother with the medicare.

Casey Desantis conducts the surveys of the University of North Florida and Florida Atlantic University/Main Street Survey.

Ron Desantis insists that Floridas First Lady is not running for anything: she is a woman and mother, a committed supporter of the American cosmetics industry.

He describes her more formally as “first lady”, although “co-governor” could be more precise.

When the two of them devastated by Hurricane Ian in 2022, they dressed up: jeans, white shirts, Florida Department of Emergency Management -West, white rubber bistel.

When it comes to his career, she is the decision, the strategy, the executor.

Casey is considered a more likeable than Ron, but how he is paranoid.

When Ron Desantis ran for the President in 2024, she tried to “humanize” him and reminded him of smiling and being “sympathetic”.

Unfortunately, it did not work as its dark representation in the primaries.

Susie Wiles, Floridas the most dreaded campaign professional, worked for Desantis until Casey decided that she somehow acted with her connection with the governor and drove her up.

Wiles, who makes no secret of her profound dislike of the Desantii, has controlled Trump's campaign and is now chief of staff of the White House.

Oops.

Less popular than Palmetto errors

But ruthlessness, control freakeries and miles of wide authoritarianism are hardly disqualified in Florida.

Ron Desantis and his equally unpleasant predecessor have proven this.

While Byron Donalds and Casey are clearly the leaders, there are many other inadequate characters who watch the villa.

Matt Gaetz, for the beginning – the rich, extremely sloppy botox boy who has all the charm of a drunk Leguan.

That would be the same matt Gaetz, which was forced to withdraw his name as a Trump's election as a general prosecutor, the very Matt Gaetz, who, according to the words of the congress examination of his behavior, was credibly accused, “prostitution, legal rape, illegal drug consumption, inadmissible gifts, special gifts or private positions”, and and Privileged and privileged and privileged and to hinder excitement.

The guy was examined by the Ministry of Justice for sex trade (at that time when we still had one), paid a 17-year-old to have sex with him, and “maintained” colleagues House members with nude photos of women with whom he claimed to have slept with him.

He has no ideas, but he is rich in insults.

He insults the Republicans, Democrats, Senators, MEPs and women, supporters for reproductive rights, environmentalists, feminists, gay people and blacks.

As a member of the Florida House, he mocked two black senators, which implied that they were stupid.

Gaetz may have to overcome some obstacles. For the beginning, its nationwide approval rate is 18%. It is less popular than Palmetto bugs, Blue Green Algae and Kanye West.

Nevertheless, money works miracles in politics and a Gaetz campaign would have a lot of money – even if he had to get it from his father.

Trumpier than you

The agricultural commissioner of Florida Wilton Simpson, another possible candidate, has less name recognition than Matt Gaetz, but then he was not credible for legal rape.

Simpson recently selected himself by stating Ron Desantis about immigration on the Trump immigration:

When Simpson was President of the Senate, Desantis made a cancer of 600 million US dollars, which was planned for Pasco County (part of the Simpson distribution) and 300 million US dollars for nature reserves.

Out of despite.

Jeannette Nuñez, do you say? She does a bank in her new Sinecure: Interim President of FIU, why should it go?

Your survey is also negligible and it is boring to boot.

But that's Florida: you never know.

For about five minutes in 2023, Francis Suarez, Mayor of Miami, was a candidate for President of the United States. It didn't go well.

Lately he has called the governor “interesting”.

It is also interesting that he is subject to several state and state probes (the state -owned people who have now been released by Florida's joke of an ethics committee), in which his lucrative minor cuts were involved, including his payment of 10,000 US dollars per month from a developer who asked him to give a special permit.

Dare to dream

But why should we also limit ourselves to the so-called credible-wenn, whose adherable people, whose allegedly relevant experience or at least the ability to stand in front of television cameras, has to struggle for Florida's highest office?

Blue sky think, people!

Don Trump Jr.?

He is young, he is well networked, he is armed, he lives in a 10 million dollar house in Jupiter (the city of Palm Beach County, not on the planet) and he has thoughts about the government.

How, this JD vance is great.

Don Jr. gives himself the recognition that we get our Nazi Läueriche VP his current appearance and what he describes as “10,000 percent” of his political capital, issues as “10,000 percent” at the request of his daddy.

He also campaigned for Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

So if your child gets the measles, you know who you have to thank.

Then there is Jeff Bezos.

He is a floridier! And has no fewer than three unquestioned apartments on Indian Creek Island, one of them 23,000 square meters.

His neighbors include Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner, Tom Brady and rising seas that are caused by anthropogenic climate change that none of them believe in.

Jeff B would be a good choice: he could simply buy the state (with the exception of the parts that have its with billionaires), and we could all work on Amazon warehouses and branches from Whole Foods.

Solved economic problems.

Outside

And now that he is out of prison, what about the former proud boy guide Enrique Tarrio?

In fact, he can no longer call himself a “proud boy”: At the beginning of this month, a federal judge granted the name and brands of the violent nationalists to the Metropolitan African Methodist Episcopal Church in Washington DC – the outfit of the Church of Tarrrio destroyed in 2020.

Or Rep. Anna Paulina Luna, one of Florida's most impressive intellect.

Luna, author of a proposal to put Trump's face on Mt. Rushmore, examines the murder of President John F. Kennedy in 1963.

She ordered the members of the Warren Commission to appear in front of her, which would undoubtedly be pleased, except that they are all dead.

Imagine: If APL is a governor, she could start examinations of Mickey's Maushood – is he a real rodent or an undocumented Mexican? – And demand and testify from Miami PD from Sonny Crockett under oath whether Detective Rico Tubbs was a rent.

Seriously, all of you: How can Florida go wrong with this rich cornucopia of political genius?

Diane Roberts is an 8th generation floridian, born and bred in Tallahassee. She is trained at Florida State University and Oxford University in England and has been writing for newspapers since 1983 when she began to produce columns about the legislature for Florida Flambeau. Her work was published in the New York Times, Times of London, the Guardian, the Washington Post, Oxford American and Flamingo. She was a member of the editorial board of St. Petersburg Times-as the name of the Tampa Bay Times War-and a long-time columnist for paper in both iterations. She was a commentator for NPR for 22 years and continues to make radio attachments and opinion in the BBC. Roberts is also the author of four books.