Recording advice column – The Williams Record

I feel overwhelmed to reconcile sleep, work and my social life. How do I fit everything?

As a cow, I make all three at the same time, so it is difficult for me to give you concrete advice. I don't understand how time management can be so difficult. It is difficult to get stressed when you constantly chew on the half digestible remains of yesterday's food. This is just my hack for mental health, but I can find your own!

Everyone seems to watch Compensation Together every Thursday. Do I have to pretend to know the show so that my friends don't freak out?

You don't know what Compensation Is?! Who the hell do you think you are? I as well -a literal cow hab my own meticulously manufactured theories for what is on the bottom of the cold harbor.

My soap smells really well. Is it a problem if I eat it?

If you refer to the Dove Gucumber Body Wash gel from Spring Street Market, I know exactly what you are talking about. While many animals tend to have more demanding sniffers than humans, cows overall have an inferior body function. And yet if I get a touch of this sweet chemical nectar on a passerby, I would like to lick it. Do it!

What do I do when I have a crush on a dead president?

Is it Grover Cleveland? Maybe my animal brain is only attracted to a man who sounds like he could be a tree nymph, but I think Hunk had a real sex appeal. In view of the fact that it is probably grover, you have to get over him, honey. He is a heartbreaker; Trust me, I was in the pasture.

I accidentally left an enchanted family height from the Carpathians, which my great-grandfather had had in his will in the Sawyer lobby. What should I do?

Fear not. Once one of my calves were accidentally stuck in a Wachenheim shower, lit a candle and said the name of the last five College registrars, which prevailed by the spirit of Ephraim Williams himself. It turned out that the spirit was only a geoscientific major who had become dirty from the rocks or whatever, and it was just rejected. None of this stuff is real.

Dear Ephelia, how are babies done?

You know, I may be the cow with answers to every question in the universe, but I still thought about it myself. My theory is that it has something to do with what is going on in the crystal when the weather is beautiful.