How to bring a parent into an assisted life: warm tips

Diana Fuller was broken with a broken heart when she brought her mother to a memory care facility and reduces the beautiful life her mother built. But Diana soon discovered that joy in the most surprising places can be packed.

Although they are not my style, I am so happy that we use these dishes, Diana Fuller, 49, thought of the dinner of her family on the fork crockery that once served hundreds of meals in her mother's house. When you give the objects that your mother once loved, add a second act in her own home, Diana's day adds storms of comforting nostalgia and strengthens her spirit when you navigated the Alzheimer's diagnosis of her mother and moving to a memory car unit. Here Diana announces how the decision to bring her mother into the assisted life and to reduce the belongings of her life, also helped Diana himself help to find a surprising source of joy and consolation.

“I still can't believe how unprepared I was to suddenly take on the role of the nurse when my mother, Marcia Ann Burrs, was diagnosed in 2020. Since then I have been between the care of my mother and a little son and the attempt to try with my sister, Jennifer, with my sister, Jennifer.

“Over the weeks and months, I was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted, not only from running mom to appointments, made sure that she had food and entered to look after her, but also to observe that she slowly deteriorated. No matter how much you are interested in and try to keep your promise that your beloved person stays in his home, you cannot heal them or escape these difficult decisions.

“When it became clear that mom needed more care than our family was able to offer, my heart shattered. There is a strong emotional tribute when you realize that your beloved person has to move to an assisted life. She was a working actress who portrayed Ms. Claus in Hallmark channel films and was a guest in many other television programs. She was always healthy, independent, spicy and active. It was a blow. I am still getting so angry that she has this disease and how it influenced it.

Love levels

“In addition to the research and survey of employees to find a care facility that met the needs of mums, the move required great efforts, since their home was filled with treasures that had collected it for decades. I approached the task with the way of thinking about clearing up your house in phases and used the first stage as time to build objects such as furniture, devices, certain clothing, silver goods and bed linen for which nobody was used. I was not ready to dive into the emptying of her house, and I didn't want to rush and throw away or donate something I would like later.

“We donated most of their furniture, but I selected some pieces – like the dining table, where we shared so many laughter and family meals with mom and dad. To combine mums style with mine, I replaced the chairs with more contemporary options. The objects built into my home are like little love notes of mom and make me smile every time I see them.

“A few weeks after the start of the process, I started in the second stage in which you have tackled your documents, such as scanning old tax returns, the seing of documents and the digitization of all old photos and videos so that we would always have them.

“The end of this chapter of mom's life gave me the chance to experience memories again and write all new chapters” – Diana Fuller

Since my mother's house was decorated with dozens of family photos, I also created several collage posters of the pictures that she was used to see every day. We hung them in the facility on the walls of their room instead of risking the risk of using frames with glass that could be a danger in the course of the disease. My hope was that with these moments that were frozen in time, they would fill their days with love.

“In all the phases I gave myself the gift of time and have not set a schedule that I can adhere to. But for the last stage that had sorted sentimental objects, I was particularly taken into account that it is neither simply nor quickly nor fast, to seven precious memorials for a lifetime. In order to prevent the throwing, donating or hanging on objects from being based on emotions, I switched it on and attached a list of content for every box so as not to sort it for six months. I saved the boxes in a safe, temperature -controlled environment, and after the other I started to unpack them. I have put them on without significant importance and kept others for myself or family members.

“The most valued objects – like their special Christmas card holders, who has been them since our children – cause powerful memories. When I went through every box, I ranked on the life experiences that I made with mom as they rehearse with her lines, sing in the car and hundreds of other adventures together to drive me forward. I have found that material possessions no longer play so important when they are in the claws that the health decline is observed by someone, so I'm no longer so important. I still have about 20 boxes that I didn't go through … and that's okay.

“Ironically, the daily pressure remains, although Mama now lives in a memory care unit, often on site and always check that she has everything she needs and acts as a Hall monitor that ensures that she has the best care and is committed to her. But writing the end of the chapter of her independent life gave me the chance to experience and appreciate all memories again to find a way, write new chapters … and enjoy with mom every day, regardless of where she lives. “