Return of the Florida man

Every few months, the newspaper tells a story about a man who does something ridiculous in the Sunshine state. The heading always contains the words “Florida Man”. Hulu even called a mini series by Crime Drama, “Florida Man”. An anonymous Wisenheimer on the Internet once noticed: “Florida Mann is the stupidest superhero in the world.”

I would like to analyze a recent “Florida Man” story that I found on the wire.

“On February 7, the office of the local sheriff in Lee County, Florida, examined an incident in which an allegedly robbery man drove with a lawnmower.”

Note: It is always “supposedly”. Someone can “hammer, smash, plaster, flash, buzz, blown up, juice, tickle, tank, sauce, steamed or zoned”, but for legal reasons they always stick so “supposedly”.

Additional note: I don't think I have not noticed that the story that takes place in Florida in February grows grass. In view of the circumstances, I would rather cut the grass rather than shovel the snow. But I wander like me.

A video camera caught the man on the mower who plowed into a mailbox along the street. The man went over his head and stumbled away from the mower, returned to his place on the driver mower and drove off, scoring a series of mailboxes on the way.

According to the WESH-TV, Matt Clardy watched the video of the destruction of his mailbox. The report described him as “Matt Clardy, whose mailbox belonged to the victims.”

I stayed “the victim was a mailbox”. Matt Clardy's property was damaged. His mailbox was not a victim. When did we start in news reports to anthropomorphic lifeless objects? It reminds me of when toddlers jump in coffeebian, and they wipe themselves and scream: “Bad table!”

Clardy said to the television station: “It was absolutely disgusting”, but then admitted: “It was so funny. I can see it 100 times (the video material). ”

But wait! There is a local connection.

The supposedly drunk mower was not identified. He remains a mystery, but this man in Florida left a Pittsburgh Steelers cap and sunglasses in one of the scenes of destruction. According to the report, the police are still trying to identify him.

I was happier than it was Florida man, but this man in Florida could be Pittsburgh, the less well-known buddy of the superhero.

Reminder: The man of Pittsburgh would have to report Florida one because Pittsburgh is a city and Florida is a state. You H.

I am proudly filled with Pittsburgh, but I also know that we have our own contingent of cuckoo birds in the golden triangle. I am glad to know that some of them hiked south for the winter.

I cannot find out why the police cannot follow the path of destruction, broken mailboxes, crushed letters, destroyed car dealers and spoiled Sunday flying back to their place of origin.

For an allegedly drunk lawn mower drivers, he managed to literally cover his traces and figuratively.

PS in case you ask yourself, I have an alibi. I was not close to the crime scene.