Tips to help children create emotions when they are intense and difficult

In addition, the body language of sadness can also send signals to other people that we have to support. As soon as you start seeing the different functions of emotions, Kross said: “It will be much easier to understand the role that you play in our life and life in our children.”

Kross also wants children to know that “there are parts of their emotional experience that they cannot control, and parts they can.” For example, we cannot control the automatic emotional reaction that we feel when we hear an astonishing sound. But as soon as these emotions are activated, we can “implement them – we have agency there.

Kross told me that he would sometimes vote not to move a difficult emotion. For example, if he has a really important period, he will be afraid – but he doesn't want to push this feeling away because it can help him concentrate. “The emotions are driving me up to prepare me. You don't necessarily want to turn it off, but you want to reject your amplitude. “

Intensity and duration of the emotions

When do we use the emotional regulatory tools or do we intervene to help children use them?

“It is when the emotion becomes too big or takes too long,” said Krross. “These are the two treacherous signs that their emotions may require a certain regulation.” This is also a useful barometer for parents: we do not want to protect children from difficult emotions, but we want to keep an eye on the intensity and duration of their emotional storms.

The postponement of emotions is not about suppressing or denying our feelings, but rather about knowing that we can take steps to “change the trajectory” if our feelings, according to Kross, affect our goals or well -being.

When it comes to managing our emotional life, there are no uniform solutions, “says KRZ. Of the tools from which you benefit on the second or day on the fifth day.

Use your senses to navigate emotions

KRSS 'Book describes several research -based strategies for shift, including one that receives too little attention: our sensory system. People use their five senses to quickly evaluate and understand their surroundings. “It's as primitive as you get it,” said Kross. “We need to know if we should approach again or avoid things.” Because of their role in security, our senses are closely linked to the brain's emotional networks. So if we smell a bit, it can almost immediately cause a disgusting reaction. When we hear a beautiful birds or see a sunset, we can quickly feel impressed or wonder. “Even touch,” said Kross. “Like warm and blurry things in contrast to cold and rough. All of these sensations really push their emotions around, very quickly. Knowing what to approach and what to avoid is of fundamental importance for us to be successful in this world. “

This close, unconscious connection between senses and emotions means that we can consciously use our senses to support our emotional well -being. “Do you think about filling your home with the right smells and putting on the right music in the background? These are effortless things we can do to change the emotions and it is an undeveloped resource. “

As parents of the young people, KRSS takes over the DJ role. If he has to move a mood, he could put on Taylor Swift in the car or even more through singing or dancing and creating something that “only ridiculously and thus strengthens the emotional experience”. Pre-school teachers understand the power of a good “strategy song”, such as the clean-up song, to transform a playging task into a playful moment.

When children experience intensive emotion, some of the proven strategies – such as deep breathing or journaling – can feel unattainable for children. These techniques require effort or follow steps. Working with the sensory system, on the other hand, can be a first option to easily choose the emotions. In this way, our senses offer “random tools to manage emotions”.

Parents can use the sensory network to subtly support child feelings in a way that “flies completely under the radar,” said Kross. Remember to shed light on a favorite candle while the children do homework, rub their backs while they are sitting on the couch together while the bathing destinations dim the lights or put a soft stuffed animal in their arms as they go to sleep. There is no unit here either. If you are emotionally activated, some children long for physical pressure as a bear computation or a weighted ceiling, while others resist in contact and find the feeling of jumping on a mini trampoline or swinging more calmly.

Parents can involve their children and teenagers in thinking about sensory tools. What songs could a playlist “I feel _____”? What physical sensations can increase your mood? Which sights and smells do you find calming or restorative? And of course entering nature activates all five senses, which is a reason why time in nature correlates with mental health.

Modeling emotional regulation

As parents, we sometimes concentrate on the needs of our children that we sometimes forget that “the leadership of others begins to lead themselves effectively,” said Kross. “I would argue how to manage your own emotions is an important first step to help your children manage their emotions.” This applies to two reasons. First, children are observation learners. “So if we keep our emotions in the right proportions under different circumstances, learn implicitly” Oh, you do it well. “