'We fall in love [on] The first date and bring a U-Haul to the second '

By Je'don Holloway-Alle | Especially for the Birmingham Times

Jamesha 'Joi Miner' Henderson and Tamesha Curry

Live: Downtown of Birmingham and Roebuck

Married: February 29, 2024

Met: October 2018 on Facebook. You have to thank Jois ex that you brought your algorithms together. Tamesha said she was initially not a Facebook friends with Joi, but pursued her mutual ex, who often shared Jois.

“I was with a girl [their mutual ex] Who was also with Joi and I would see things about Joi on her side, ”said Tamesha. Finally Tamesha Joi began to follow: “Because she published many positive things and I needed it in my life at that time.”

Joi said she made sure who interacts with her contributions and so Tamesha attracted her attention. “This woman for six months [Tamesha]Was warm [liking] All of my contributions, but never said a word to me, ”laughed Joi. [expletive] And let's go for dinner. '”

Tamesha was shocked. “I thought she was playing. I never thought she would turn to me because I had never told her anything, ”she recalled.

As soon as the mutual interest has been confirmed, Joi had an important question: “How do you know my ex?” Joi asked: “Because I didn't need to go crazy in my life.” Tamesha was honest, “and that is what I love in T, she will be honest, even if it will hurt her feelings or get them out,” said Joi.

The couple exchanged numbers and talked by phone for two weeks before they meet personally.

First date: Mid -October in East Lake Park. Joi remembers that he had returned to the city from an obligation, but wanted to surprise Tamesha with a gift.

“I stopped on the Roebuck Parkway in Walmart and got her a dozen roses,” said Joi. “And when she saw her, she smiled because most masculine -presenting lesbians don't get roses. I opened doors and everything for them. Look can be wrong [in same sex relationships] Because although I present as female, I am more dominant and it is actually more subordinate. I let them blush. Our love gives its permission to exist in their femininity, ”said Joi.

The couple remembered that he had spoken under a pavilion for a lot of time when another couple approached, noticed their chemistry and asked us how long they were together.

“We told them it was our first date, and what was funny was Joi no relationship [at the time]But this chemistry was between us and I knew immediately that it could be the one, ”said Tamesha.

Joi remembers that she went away from the date and has the feeling of wanting more. “I didn't look for a relationship, but after we [parted ways]I didn't like how I felt. I didn't like it [sharing space] With her and it went against everything I said to myself that I wanted it, ”said Joi.

The curve: November 1, 2018. At Jois Haus in Ensley. “I tried to ask her to be my girlfriend on her birthday, October 31, but she said no, ask me tomorrow,” said Tamesha.

“I told her that she wouldn't get two for one with me! I said you will not be able to bring me a gift for my birthday and think that it counts as a anniversary gift, ”laughed Joi. “So, no, ask me tomorrow. And it's crazy because I was with other people, I didn't try to be in a relationship, but [Tamesha] broke all of my rules. I had a 4-20 rule: I made an appointment with people for four months or 20 weeks, depending on what is longer, and from there I would decide whether I wanted to be with them. “

Joi explained to have to deliberately slow down advertising because “lesbians live in dog years,” she laughed. “We come together, fall in love and bring a U-Haul on the second date, and I tried to be a crockpot lesben and slowly cook this thing. But here I agreed to a relationship in less than 30 days. “

The suggestion: While Joi had proposed Tamesha several times in the course of her four -year relationship, and she kept pulling her back, she only asked for the last time that it was.

On April 16, 2021 in Jois apartment in downtown Birmingham, while he made the spread for Tamesha's birthday party, Joi suggested. She even asked Tamesha's father for her hand in marriage.

“Tamesha had just come to me and stood in the living room and spoke to my daughter Phoenix. [then 9] Who knew everything about [her mom’s plan to propose] And was more excited than me, ”said Joi. “I had the whole thing and went to my bedroom to get the ring and came back and climbed behind her. And when Tamesha turned, she saw me down there and said her whole face: “What the hell are you doing?” Joi laughed, “But I asked her to get married.”

“I'm pretty sure I asked Joi if she was safe because I am [a big proponent] It is what she wants, ”said Tamesha. After all, Joi “withdrew her proposal four times,” she laughed. “After Joi said she was sure, I said 'Yes.'”

Although the ring was on Tamesha's fingers and the commitment to Mi was solid, she had to do her new marriage, she had to dissolve her last first.

“I had tried to give Phoenix's father divorced for seven years, and finally, on October 31, 2023, a judge in Montgomery was signed in my divorce, and that was the best birthday present ever,” said Joi. “And in the state of Alabama you have to wait 61 days to get married again. They call it the cooling period. “

During the “cooling time”, the couple played with lots of data, but finally settled on February 29, 2024. “It was a joke,” said Joi, “we said we only had to celebrate our anniversary every four years.”

The wedding: Joi and Tamesha had planned to marry in the courthouse in Birmingham, but could not because the marriage ceremonies were no longer kept there. “You simply print out the documents, bring it to UPS and let them certify them. Then bring it to the courthouse and submit it. There is no magistrate, no vows, nothing and this was my third marriage, and the first and only one for which I could not exchange vows, ”said Joi. But the third time is the charm.

The most memorable for Joi was: “The fact that we were actually married. Tamesha was the first person I got married to whom I wanted to be married. The first two times that I married for my children. I was pregnant and wanted my children to grow up with two parents in a household. When the fathers of my children were proposed, I said: “Yes”. But this time my marriage is for me, ”said Joi.

The most memorable for Tamesha was also the reality of being married. “It was the fact that it actually happened and she was now my wife. It was a big deal for me because this is my first marriage, ”said Tamesha.

Words of wisdom: The Henderson-Curry's believe that healthy marriages build on what is best suited for them and does not follow the traditions of society.

“We decided not to live together because Phoenix [now 13] Has a life that has already been determined and mine too, ”said Joi. “[Living apart] Gives us time to check us [a term they use that refers to checking their emotions] ourselves, because if you are in the same space, it can make things worse, but [living apart] Feel like it is new all the time. We are still hanging on the phone. We are constantly over. It works for us, ”said Joi.

Tamesha said it is only about “maintaining our individuality and respecting the individuality of the other. Having respect and understanding of each other and wanting to see what is best for each other is the best. You have to take yourself out and be selfless in marriage, ”she said.

Always happy afterwards: The Henderson-Currys are a mixed family with two children from Jois earlier marriages: Qadara Miner, 23, Phoenix Henderson, 13, and Tameshas furbabies, rocket, crimson and negan.

Joi, 43, is a native Montgomery who visited the Booker T. Washington Magnet High School [Montgomery]. She is an author prenue, writer and teaches writing courses for Intoto Creative Arts and the Alabama Prison Arts & Education Program.

Tamesha, 41, comes from Talladega, who comes from Roebuck in Birmingham. She is a graduate of the Huffman High School and works for the Grand Bohemian Hotel in Birmingham in laundry facilities.

“They had me at Hello '' highlights married couples and the love they bind. If you want to be considered for a future “hello” column or know someone, please send nominations to Barnett Wright Bwright@birminghatTimes.com. Add the name of the couple, the contact number (s) and what makes your love story unique.

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